Would You?
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Sandra sets out to get over Gerry but it all goes a little wrong or should that be right?
1. Chapter 1

**Would you? 1/3**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Sandra/Gerry

**Rating:- **M

**Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/**

**Summary:- **Sandra sets out to get over Gerry but it all goes a little wrong or should that be right?

**Author's Note:- **Three chapter little bit of slightly angsty slightly romantic fluff hope you enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

Staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of her Sandra sighed heavily; this had got to be the stupidest idea anyone had ever had. When she'd decided that it was time she accepted that nothing was going to happen between her and Gerry and decided it was time to think about a way of getting over him talking to her therapist about it had seemed like such a good idea. Now though she was sitting in her office staring at a blank sheet of paper instead of in the pub with the boys where she would normally be when their work day was over. The idea was to write him a letter, not one he'd ever see, but one that would lay out her feelings and help her start to deal with them.

"Sandra just do it. Pick up the pen and write it for god sake how hard can it be?" Picking up the pen again she sighed and started to write.

_Dear Gerry,_

_I wish I could bring myself to just tell you the things I'm about to put in this letter but I've accepted now that it's not going to happen. I've realised I'm never going to do it and even if I did you probably would laugh in my face. I've wondered so often now what it would be like to be with you, what you'd be like as a partner, a boyfriend, a lover, I'll never know the answers to those questions but I can still ask._

_I wonder if you'd be the person to make me stop running. I've never been able to do that and no one has ever been able to make me want to. I can get to a point where I think I'm happy, I can imagine my future with that person then I take fright and it's over. Would you make me want to feel scared but not run? Would you make me want to see my future with you?_

_Sometimes I try to imagine what sort of person you'd be if you loved me, would you phone me, text me, pop your head round my office door just to tell me you loved me or were thinking about me? Normally I hate that sort of thing I think there's a time and a place for it and neither of those are at work but with you I don't think I'd care. I think I'd want to hear you say you loved me as often as possible no matter the time or location._

_Would you tell me I was beautiful even when I'd just woken up and looked like hell? Would you always be proud to have me by your side? Would you never need anyone else once you had me? I doubt any of those things would be true I don't kid myself that I would ever be your type but I can dream and I have dreamt oh so many times what it would feel like to know you wanted me as much as I want you._

_On that note would you make love to me? I mean really make love to me? Men look at me and imagine what I'd be like in bed I know they do but they want to fuck me they have no desire to love me, would you be the same? Would it only ever be a physical thing between us? Would we spend a heated few weeks or months devouring each other only for it to burn out or would you love me, make love to me, leaving me satisfied both emotionally and physically?_

_Would you be different, could you love me, would you love me, or would it be the same pain but with more to lose? See if you broke my heart it could never be mended, if I took the chance and you were no different to any other man I've risked a relationship with my heart would shatter and the injuries the shards caused would leave scars that never faded._

_In the end the only question that matter's is would you love me unconditionally? I've realised I'll never find out and this hasn't helped. Instead of making it easier for me to close the door it's opened a can of worms of all the feelings I've been trying to ignore. I don't ever think I will stop loving you, you've done far too good a job in the time we've known each other of making me slowly fall in love with you but I am ready to accept that it's never going to happen and try to live with those feelings for the sake of our friendship because if I lost that as well it would truly be the end of me. _

_All my love_

_Sandra_

Putting the two neatly written sheets of paper into an envelope and writing his name on the front Sandra sighed as she glanced at the clock on the wall and realised she was late for her meeting with Strickland. Opening her desk draw she stood up dropping the letter inside and moving so quickly she failed to see it miss the target and flutter quietly to the floor beside her desk.

"Sandra Jack and Brian have gone home they said we'll go see Simpson tomorrow I told them…" Gerry called arriving at the office ten minutes later stopping as he reached her door and realised she wasn't there. "Where the hell have you disappeared to this time?"

Walking round the desk he glanced at the day planner noting the meeting with Strickland and sighing heavily. She hated meetings with their boss and he knew she'd be in a foul mood when she got back. Standing back from the desk he was about to leave when he noticed the plain white envelope on the floor and bended to pick it up.

"Jesus Sandra you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on I hope you weren't meant to take this to the meeting with…." Turning the envelope over in his hand and seeing his name on the front the words stopped in his throat as he sank into her chair and slowly opened it.


	2. Chapter 2

****For authors noted. Declaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Would you? 2/3

Sighing heavily as he finished reading the letter Gerry shook his head in disbelief, She loved him , really loved him and she'd managed to convince herself so completely that he couldn't love her that she was prepared to give up on any hope that he might.

"Oh Sandra you completely impossible woman! How could I do anything but love you? Well if we're doing declarations in the Jane Austin style I can play along with that." He laughed pulling a blank sheet of paper from the drawer beside him and lifting a pen from the pot on the desk as he started to write.

_My Darling Sandra_

_I take it from the tone of the beginning and end of the letter I've just read that I was never supposed to see it but I'm glad I did. You really need to be more careful about where you put things that you want to keep a secret. Anyway you have no idea how many things I want to say to you right now and how much I would like to go upstairs and pull you out of Strickland's office and kiss you in a way that would leave you in no doubt about how I feel about you. I don't think that would go down too well so I'll settle for writing you a letter just like you did for me._

_Would I be the person to make you stop running? I hope so, I hope I can make you see that you never need to run from a future with me. I know how scared you get, I've watched you fall from one disastrous relationship to another and always wondered why you couldn't see that any man would be lucky to have you in his life. In my wildest dreams I imagine my future with you and it makes me happier than I've ever been in real life. If it's that good in my dreams it can only be better in reality._

_I'd call you, text you, hunt you down to the ends of the earth just to tell you that I love you and that you are constantly in my thoughts. I know you hate it but I think I could make you get used to it._

_Oh Sandra would I tell you you're beautiful? Damn right I would no matter the time of day I'd tell you that you were amazing, spectacular and you take my breath away every day. I'd want to shout from the roof tops how proud I was that you loved me. Would you be enough for me? Absolutely, no one could ever live up to you, no one has been able to live up to you since the day I first laid eyes on you. Every woman I've met, every relationship I've had since the day I sat across that interview table from you has been compared to you and none of them came close._

_My god Sandra is that what you really think of yourself? That men don't love you they only want to sleep with you? You can be so blind at times to just how amazing you are. Yes I'd make love to you, I'd make love to you like no one ever has before. I'd show you with ever kiss, every touch, every movement that you deserve to be adored not "fucked" as you put it. If you had any idea the nights I've lain awake alone imagining how it would feel to make love to you you'd not have had to write that letter you'd have known exactly how I feel._

_Your last two questions I can answer at once. YES we'd be different because not only could I love you but I do and always will. If I'd known I was slowly making you fall in love with me I'd have worked out what I was doing and done it faster then we'd not have wasted so much time. I've loved you so long now I've forgotten when it first started but if you let me I'll make sure you never doubt it a day in your live._

_Anyway it the end of the day and you'll be back from your meeting so I'm going to leave this for you and go home. If you read this and are ready to take a chance I'll be waiting and hoping. Trust me Sandra I love you, come over when you've read this and let me show you how much._

_All my love_

_Gerry_

Putting the letter in an envelope and writing her name on it Gerry propped it up on the computer screen before putting his letter in his pocket and heading home hoping that finally things were going to change for the better.


	3. Chapter 3

****For author's notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Would you 3**

Storming into her office her mood darkened considerably by yet another fruitless meeting with her boss Sandra grabbed her coat and was about to head home when she noticed the envelope propped up in front of the computer. Recognising the handwriting on the front she felt her heart flip. Rushing to the other side of the desk she pulled the drawer open gasping as she realised the letter she'd written wasn't there. Lifting what she was not sure was his reply she tried to calm the trembling in her hands as she opened it unfolding the sheet of paper inside and starting to read.

"Oh my god." She whispered as she finished reading it for the second time setting it on the desk and trying to clear her head. She couldn't believe what was happening, he loved her? He'd read her letter and he hadn't run for the hills or laughed he's spent the time writing her a reply and now he was waiting for her could it actually be happening? Grabbing her bag and gripping the letter she rushed into the car park not knowing how this was going to play out but determined to find out.

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Looking around his living room Gerry tried to calm the nerves that had been consuming him since he'd got home. He'd read her letter a dozen times to remind himself why he was doing this but he couldn't help but wonder if the reason she'd never told him, the reason she was so determined to get over him was that she thought it was too complicated for them to be together. She was his boss and while it wasn't unheard of for relationships to develop in the line of work in the force it certainly wasn't encouraged. If they did end up together and it got out Strickland could easily use it as an excuse to meddle with the unit and he knew that was the last thing she'd want.

Glancing out the window as he heard a car pull up outside he took a deep breath as she got out walking toward the door.

"Hi" Sandra smiled when he opened the door and she saw the same nervousness in his eyes as she was feeling herself.

"Hi I'm glad you came." Gerry smiled standing aside to let her in. "I take it you got my letter?"

"Yes and I assume you read mine, you were never supposed to see it. It was a stupid idea from my therapist which was supposed to help me get over you."

"Do you still want to get over me?"

"Not if what you said in your letter is true." Sandra replied her voice barely a whisper as he closed the gap between them capturing her lips with his, his kiss tentative at first until she brought her arms around his neck her tongue demanding access which he willingly granted groaning against her lips as it began a slow sensual dance with him.

"Everything I said was true Sandra. I love you, I've loved you for so long now I don't remember what it was like not to be in love with you." He smiled when they broke apart the need for air briefly trumping their need for each other. "Did you mean what you said? All of it?"

"Of course I did remember no one was supposed to read mine except me what would have been the point in lying?" Sandra laughed as he took her hand and guided her toward the sofa as they both sat down.

"So where do we go from here?" Gerry asked pouring them both a glass of wine from the bottle he has opened and left on the table earlier. "I mean what do we do next?"

"What would you like to do?"

"I'd like us to be together, to see if we can make up for all the time we've wasted by making each other happy."

"I can agree to that and right now, tonight, what would you like to do?" Sandra continued setting the glass down on the table as she smiled at him glancing through her eyelashes feeling her pulse race and he let his eyes wander to her lips and back again.

"I'd like to make love to you if that's ok?" He replied as she slowly ran her fingers down his cheek as she laughed softly.

"If it's ok? You really need to ask?"

"After what you said in your letter yes I do I don't want you to think I'm like those other men you think are only interested in you because they want to….."

"All that's in the past Gerry after what you wrote I could never think you'd be like that and right now I want you so much it hurts don't make me wait any longer please."

Gathering her into his arms kissing her again as he pulled her to her feet guiding her through he flat toward the bedroom he felt like things were finally falling into place in his life. Taking his time slowly undressing her as she did the same with him he revelled in each new sight in front of him. He's imagined how she would look, how beautiful she would be, how soft her skin would feel under his fingers but the reality was so much better. Guiding her back onto the bed he let his hands run the length of her thighs his lips following them drinking in her murmurs of approval until he reached her centre, gently parting her folds as he let his tongue lazily trail over her most sensitive part.

"Gerry, no, stop." Sandra gasped knowing exactly what he wanted to do but determined that the first time she gave up to him it would be while he was inside her. Glancing up at him she saw panic flash across his eyes and smiled at him pulling him back up her body until their eyes met. "Make love to me, I want to feel you inside me Gerry, I need to feel you I…"

Gasping as the words caught in her throat as he grabbed her hip guiding himself toward her entrance and filling her in a single thrust.

Moving inside her slowly Gerry ran a trail of hot kisses down her neck as she arched toward him her hips moving in time with his,

"Harder Gerry please…harder" She moaned as he could do nothing but follow her instructions desperate to feel her give up as the pressure at the base of his shaft told him it wouldn't be long before he was powerless to make it last any longer.

"God Sandra I can't…..I won't last…I…" He tried to warn her but as she clenched around him her eyes slipping shut as her soft cries echoed around the room he realised it was irrelevant. She'd given up and the sight of her unable to resist the sensations he was creating was enough to snap what little control he had left as he buried his head in her shoulder feeling her wrap her arms around him as he spilled inside her.

"I love you." Sandra whispered her hands running up his back as he rolled onto the bed bringing her with him.

"I love you too Sandra."

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Stirring form a contented sleep Sandra rolled over realising Gerry had gone and his head on his pillow had been replaced by a single folded sheet of note paper with her name on the front.

_Breakfast is served when you're ready my darling._

_xx_

Laughing she took the note, pulling on his shirt and wandering into the living room and smiling as he glanced at her his eyes running the length of her body barely covered by the shirt.

"Are we going to spend our entire relationship communicating in writing?"

"No." Gerry laughed pulling her into his arms and kissing her gently "But since it got is this far I thought one more note might just be fun."


End file.
